Morris Minor Owners Club

Late one frosty night I peed on my door lock to defrost it! Sorry ladies not so easy for you

A technique that also works for outside toilets.

But presumably you won't need the toilet by the time you've unfrozen the lock

Had a fright leaving a motorbike trial some years back with a trailer on the back of my Citroen BX. Just getting dark, in what was a desrted field- everyone else had left- freezing fog descending- 40 miles from home and pre mobile phone days. Started the engine, car suspension pumped up, then loud hissing and clouds of high pressure fluid spraying everywhere! Had the presence of mind to very quickly stick a jack under the side, before the whole plot sank too far on its suspension. Crawled underneath in a pool of icy hydraulic fluid and found a rusted blow hole in one of the myriad tiny pipes which control those cars. Shaking like a leaf as the shock of being stranded nowhere sank in, I did the only thing I could. Cut through the offending pipe with sidecutters, then folded the two ends back on themselves and crimped as tight as I could. It was one of those can't get any worse moments! Topped up the hydraulic tank with fluid (2 litres and still only half full), started up, and prayed! Car pumped up-amazing. Power steering worked-amazing. Gingerly drove off, tried brakes (yes, they are powered by the suspension system!) and they worked-amazing. Couldn't find any problem with the car and drove it like that for about 6 weeks before finding time to replace the offending pipe, only then realized it was the feed to the rear brakes. Car had worked fine all that time on just front brakes! I still go cold when I think what would have been the outcome if it had been one of the more neccessary pipes and we had been stuck in that field!!

But presumably you won't need the toilet by the time you've unfrozen the lock

pee-cisely

Four of us in a phase 1 Vanguard on the way home from Glasgow one night about 300 years ago (well, I was only eighteen or so, so it was a long time ago) when it knocked a big end out halfway up Beatock. No money, no AA, but tools in the boot. We scrounged around to find some old bottles and tins, drained the oil, took off the sump . Removed the remains of the damaged bearing and wrapped the crank with a piece cut off my thick leather belt. Con-rod back on, sump up, oil back in and drove it quietly for the next hundred miles home. I replaced the big ends next day, and drove that old car for another two years until some plonk ran into it and wrote it off.
Happy days!

After one of the 'zeds alternator failed (the gearbox went first, it'd only lost 3rd and 4th) I took it to London (from Bristol) with a full size car battery bungied to the back seat - and wired with some left over automotive wiring.

It would have been fine if I'd've not put it on to reserve-fuel when the carb fell off (it felt like fuel starvation!) or had've remembered to put it back on normal when I reattached the carb. As it was, it ran out of fuel on the M4 bus lane, and then I had to have a very long chat with a police officer about how he didn't think that bungeeing a battery the back of a bike constituted an adequate means of attachment.

That same 'zed's condenser failed in Weston one night, and we went home resetting the gap on the points every few miles as it destroyed them. Had the tools though, just no parts

The minor ran for ages with an MZ throttle cable; 'cos the original one snapped. It had to have duct-tape wrapped around the accelerator-pedal end though, 'cos the crimped on bit is much smaller on a motorbike throttle than on the minor

I've done loads of little bodges, but I can't instantly think of any other ones

when the carb fell off (it felt like fuel starvation!)

My favourite bodges are the ones that are so good you never fix it properly.

My favourite bodges are the ones that are so good you never fix it properly.

I suppose that one is listed in the Tech Tips section of the MG (makes good) owners club

Not a Morris Minor bodge, but traveling home after a nightshift a few years ago in a pals old VW Beetle the accelerator cable broke. He had no breakdown cover, and rather than phone one of our wives at 6:15 in the morning I stood on the back bumper and operated the throttle by hand. Luckily we only had about 5 miles on a B road to get home.
It was hilarious, he was more worried than me and kept shouting out of the window to slow down
I was a little bit wilder in those days!

iddy

No wonder the Welsh have a name for unusual pastimes

I'm utterly disgusted at the irresponsible actions of some of you. Remember there may be children viewing this forum
The best botch must be the leather big end bearing- how many people would have contemplated such a measure? And it worked!!
Read somewhere that a botch is something like that,ie a hopeless long term fix, whereas a bodge is an imaginatively engineered fix using unusual methods/materials. I don't mind being called a bodger by anyone! (no I'm no good at chair making, dig deep) but admire those who CAN twiddle wood!

My favourite was my mates car in France when the crankshaft pulley broke in half, I undid the dynamo adjuster, lifted the dynamo up & secured it to an engine lift bracket, fitted the belt round the hexagon of the starting handle dog. It was one of those toothed belts & when we got home, all the teeth had gone.
I've had the bronze bush in the clutch shaft mechanism break up so I cut a socket in half & used that to get home. In France a core plug came out, luckily we found it & wedged it in place with a lead weight off a wheel. In France another year, overheating, I took the front bumper off & wedged a piece of wood under the back edge of the bonnet to get some draught through. I've used the string wiper method in torrential rain in Paris. Got the Trav home with a block of wood replacing the broken rear spring & the van home from a National with a burst caliper & the hose clamped with Mole grips, the irony of that one was that I had a new Ford conversion kit I was bringing home. The one I still have nightmares about was towing the caravan when the van seemed to be pulling very hard, found that the drawbar was breaking away so drove the five miles home with the caravan supported on the jockey wheel.
Moral here is, always carry a wire coathanger, string & don't buy a car from this man.

iddy wrote:It was hilarious, he was more worried than me and kept shouting out of the window to slow down

Ooooh ... that tickles


Had my accellerator return spring snap while I was driving, engine racing MADLY so I pulled over and immediatley saw the problem. Stood scratching my head for a bit and then remembered the choke return spring, which proved to be such a nice replacement I never went back to using an accellerator spring and just bought a new choke spring to replace the 're-used' one ;D

Wow, no one has posted in here for a while!

Latest bodge is on the heater valve. It's leaking out of the end where the spindle pokes out-the diaphragm must have split.
I have cut off the spindle with the valve lever pushed open as far as possible, then put a 3/16" screw with a fibre washer, smothered in blue gasket sealer, in the hole in the end of the valve.
No idea whether it'll hold yet, I haven't started the car up, but at least it's not actually weeing coolant on the garage floor anymore!

My bodges that come to mind are a Rover 800 drivers wiper arm snapped off so I swapped the smaller passenger side one to get me from Torquay to home.
A mk1 Ford escort exhaust silencer mounting snapping so I used my belt to tie it up..ruined when I got home!
The loss of coolant in my old Moggie which resulted in head gasket failure I used the screen washer bottle as a top up to try to limp home.
My most embarrassing bodge as a kid was my holed Ford Capri front wing being stuffed with newspaper and fillered over before painting it..filled the hole nicely!

Many years ago I read of some optimist who took his Reliant van to trade in against another vehicle. The salesman thought it looked a bit low on the back end so took a closer look. Turned out that damage caused by a rear-end shunt had been repaired not with fibreglass but with concrete.

ndevans wrote: ↑Sun Jul 21, 2019 7:38 am Wow, no one has posted in here for a while!

Latest bodge is on the heater valve. It's leaking out of the end where the spindle pokes out-the diaphragm must have split.
I have cut off the spindle with the valve lever pushed open as far as possible, then put a 3/16" screw with a fibre washer, smothered in blue gasket sealer, in the hole in the end of the valve.
No idea whether it'll hold yet, I haven't started the car up, but at least it's not actually weeing coolant on the garage floor anymore!

And, unsurprisingly, it doesn't work! Ran the engine for 10min, and it started leaking again.

Once managed to drive a Mk1 Cavalier 2 miles home on three cylinders - the unusual bit was that No 3 piston and rod had exited the block! It got scrapped!.

One got home with a rubber band replacing a snapped throttle return spring.

Looking back over this old thread, seeing names that are no more!