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Re: get you home bodges

Posted: Sat Jul 27, 2019 7:26 am
by palacebear
Never thought of contributing to this thread.
This bodge isn't mine. It was a lecturer at tech college many years ago when I was an apprentice mechanic. He asked us to diagnose a misfire on his Minor 1000, which sounded terrible, had steam coming out of the tailpipe and was barely running. IIRC compressions ranged between 75 and 0. Having diagnosed head gasket failure or other cylinder head issue, the head was removed... to reveal three pistons and one slice of oak table-leg jammed about an inch down one cylinder bore! With the sump, which was leaking like a sieve, removed, we also found only three con-rods. The slice of oak table-leg was about an inch thick and had been beautifully turned on a lathe to fit the bore!

I wonder if the car survived... a Rose Taupe 4-door. KLM456D...?

Re: get you home bodges

Posted: Sat Jul 27, 2019 3:38 pm
by BrianHawley
Once drove a mini 50 miles with no throttle cable.

Tied the SU open with the highest revs I dared in neutral (about 4,000) and did the rest with the clutch.

Re: get you home bodges

Posted: Sat Jul 27, 2019 8:03 pm
by ndevans
Spare throttle cable and spring, two essentials worth carrying. You'll only need them once every blue moon, but when you do, you'll be grateful!
A bike brake cable will do for the throttle if it's long enough and has the cylindrical metal endclamp on it, but they are not as thick as throttle cables, so I wouldn't leave it on forever.

Re: get you home bodges

Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2019 1:33 am
by johngrigg
Those interested in this topic should check out a TV series called Bush Mechanics . You can find it on YouTube and demonstrates such useful skills as converting a screen washer into a fuel pump, and hand carving a clutch throwout bearing out of hardwood, to name just 2 of many.
Cheers John G

Re: get you home bodges

Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2019 9:46 am
by Murrayminor
I used to run a 1976 875cc VW Polo which tookme and my family on many trips around the UK four up.
One day enroute to work it began to overheat,I realised the head gasket had blown,so I topped up the water using the washer bottle and the contents of my mates flask of tea.
We managed to get to work and home again and I managed to replace the gasket in time for the following morning trip to work.
How easy were cars to work on then!!

Re: get you home bodges

Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2019 10:01 am
by ndevans
I hope you flushed the block!

Re: get you home bodges

Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2019 10:22 am
by BrianHawley
ndevans wrote:
Sun Jul 28, 2019 10:01 am
I hope you flushed the block!

Or added milk and two sugars

Re: get you home bodges

Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2019 2:04 pm
by simmitc
I had a clutch operating rod snap. Used a wire coat hanger to get home. On another occasion, a fractured brake pipe meant gentle driving, anticipation, and careful use of gears and handbrake. This technique used to be taught on some advanced driving courses, don't know if they still do.

Re: get you home bodges

Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2019 2:15 pm
by ndevans
simmitc wrote:
Sun Jul 28, 2019 2:04 pm
I had a clutch operating rod snap. Used a wire coat hanger to get home. On another occasion, a fractured brake pipe meant gentle driving, anticipation, and careful use of gears and hand brakebrake. This technique used ot be taught on some advanced driving courses, don't know if they atill do.
I had to do that once, when a brake union split. Bloody scary it was, and I only went about 400m before I stopped and rang for help.

Re: get you home bodges

Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2019 2:51 pm
by les
You could have flattened the steel brake pipe just before the union, you may have retained at least some braking power.
I was given a demo ride in a Mini that had this treatment, I was told after the event !

Re: get you home bodges

Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2019 4:44 pm
by ndevans
It lost all the fluid very quickly, the split was at the rear 3 way union on the back axle. Went from spongy brakes to no pedal in about 3 miles

Re: get you home bodges

Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2019 7:20 pm
by acrobinson
Moggie bodges over the past 20 years:

a) Throttle cable snapped so refitted choke cable to pull throttle arm to get me home. Thankfully, engine was warm so no need for choke to start.

b) Fuel pipe developed a leak but managed to patch up with chewing gum to get home.

c) Sump developed an oil leak and also patched up with chewing gum; theme developing here.

d) Window wiper motor broke so disengaged mechanism and used bailer band/string so passenger could pull wiper arms back and forwards in the rain with windows open. Didn't work very well.

e) Dip switch broke so no lights so drove down back lanes to avoid Police using indicators to see way ahead. Also didn't work very well.

f) Gear stick snapped off selecting reverse too aggressively so used a pair of mole grips to change gear; fab quick shifter!

g) Fuel pump packed up so filled washer bottle with syphoned petrol and gravity fed in into SU. Couple of refills got us home.

How many of these would work on a modern car, I wonder?

Re: get you home bodges

Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2019 8:34 pm
by alanworland
Came home in our old Viva many years ago with a terrible noise and only sort of running on three cylinders.
A pushrod had punched a hole through the pressed steel rocker and wasn't doing anything!
Bit of time with the welder and file had it fixed for the morning.

Alan

Re: get you home bodges

Posted: Mon Jul 29, 2019 10:34 am
by myoldjalopy
acrobinson wrote:
Sun Jul 28, 2019 7:20 pm
e) Dip switch broke so no lights so drove down back lanes to avoid Police using indicators to see way ahead. Also didn't work very well.
Ha ha - I like it! I once drove about 20 miles down country lanes in the dark to get home with no lights due to a charging problem. Fortunately there was a full moon and I could see the way clearly 8)

By the way, has anyone on here used the legendary ladies tights as a fan belt fix?

Re: get you home bodges

Posted: Mon Jul 29, 2019 10:41 am
by Shropshiremoggie
Tights ? Stockings yes - showing my age !!!

Re: get you home bodges

Posted: Mon Jul 29, 2019 12:25 pm
by Sleeper
Shropshiremoggie wrote:
Mon Jul 29, 2019 10:41 am
Tights ? Stockings yes - showing my age !!!
More like showing your Street-cred...

John :wink:

Re: get you home bodges

Posted: Mon Jul 29, 2019 12:34 pm
by myoldjalopy
Excellent, 'ShropshireMoggie'!

Now, I just now had to do a bodge myself. For a few days the ignition warning light had been showing signs of trouble in the charging circuit - sometimes took fairly high revs to go out, sometimes behaved normally. Last week it stayed on for about 8 miles but after fiddling with the dynamo wires it went out again as it should. Then last night I noticed the ignition light stayed on when the ignition was switched off. Started the engine again, revved it, turned off the ignition and the light went out. Oh dear, something obviously wrong.......

So......this morning I did the old 'does the dynamo work as a motor?' test by removing the fan belt and pressing down the cut-out switch in the control box. A twitch...and then nothing....zero. And the cut-out contacts remained closed and had to be seperated by hand. Oh well, the dynamo is cooked, I thought. But then I noticed the 'D' terminal on the dynamo seemed a bit loose. I wiggled it a bit and found the dynamo then did run well as a motor and the cut-out seperated itself! Hmmm.

Removed dynamo and saw some of the plastic surround to the terminal had broken off, making it very loose and waggling about. A couple of turns of thin wire around the terminal made it tight again, so I replaced the dynamo and found all working correctly again. A test run confirmed this must have been the problem. Not sure how long I want to trust this bodge so will be getting a new dynamo...........

But I don't know why a dodgy connection of the D terminal would make the cut-in contacts stick on??

Re: get you home bodges

Posted: Mon Jul 29, 2019 1:45 pm
by SteveClem
My old mini, back in the seventies was prone to blowing fuses. They all got gradually replaced by bits of silver paper out of fag packets...

Re: get you home bodges

Posted: Mon Jul 29, 2019 2:07 pm
by Myrtles Man
SteveClem wrote:
Mon Jul 29, 2019 1:45 pm
My old mini, back in the seventies was prone to blowing fuses. They all got gradually replaced by bits of silver paper out of fag packets...
Until the whole lot eventually went up in flames? :o

Re: get you home bodges

Posted: Mon Jul 29, 2019 2:37 pm
by BrianHawley
SteveClem wrote:
Mon Jul 29, 2019 1:45 pm
My old mini, back in the seventies was prone to blowing fuses. They all got gradually replaced by bits of silver paper out of fag packets...
Or a bullet of the right size. 😊