The awful joke thread

Instead of clogging up posts with off topic discussions, have them here. Keep it clean folks!
Pete Bags
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Re: The awful joke thread

Postby Pete Bags » Wed Aug 04, 2021 10:26 am

I achieved my personal best in the 100 metres today....
73 metres.

Myrtles Man
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Re: The awful joke thread

Postby Myrtles Man » Wed Aug 04, 2021 11:30 am

I see that Arthur Hodgkinson won the 100 meters event at the recently-held British Gas Sports Day; he read them in two minutes thirty seven seconds, a new record.

Classiccars
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Re: The awful joke thread

Postby Classiccars » Sun Aug 08, 2021 2:55 pm

Why do birds fly south for winter.Too far to walk.Can you remember a worse joke please to let me off the hook.

Mick Lynch
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Re: The awful joke thread

Postby Mick Lynch » Sun Aug 08, 2021 6:28 pm

What des DNA stand for?
National Dyslexia Association

Classiccars
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Re: The awful joke thread

Postby Classiccars » Thu Aug 19, 2021 8:40 pm

Read a book on ship building over the weekend.Riveting

dp
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Re: The awful joke thread

Postby dp » Wed Sep 01, 2021 5:58 pm

What's the most popular Christmas wine?
"I don't like sprouts"

What's green and smells of bananas?
monkey sick

What's brown and sticky?
A stick

What's yellow and bad for your teeth?
A brick
Image

simmitc
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Re: The awful joke thread

Postby simmitc » Thu Sep 02, 2021 10:32 am

What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung.

What's brown under a piano stool?
Beethoven's last movement.

simmitc
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Re: The awful joke thread

Postby simmitc » Thu Sep 02, 2021 10:35 am

What sort of dinosaur had only one eye?
A doyouthinkhesaurus.

woodiesenfrance
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Re: The awful joke thread

Postby woodiesenfrance » Thu Sep 16, 2021 5:26 pm

Capture d’écran 2021-09-16 à 18.24.41.png
Capture d’écran 2021-09-16 à 18.24.41.png (361.4 KiB) Viewed 747 times
Mary Hall
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Pete Bags
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Re: The awful joke thread

Postby Pete Bags » Wed Oct 06, 2021 12:14 pm

What’s the different between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

What do you call a magic dog?
A labracadabrador.

What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?
Re-Morse code.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.

What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage.
I lost my case.


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